


Freak Show

by Cate Shaw (Bluebell84)



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Conjoined Twins, F/M, Freak Show, Multi, Smut, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:03:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebell84/pseuds/Cate%20Shaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two handsome men joined at the hips; literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freak Show

**Author's Note:**

  * For [circa1927](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circa1927/gifts).



> Inspired by a photo of Benedict and Tom at the BAFTAs - and obviously, it's not meant to be taken seriously. I do hope it makes you chuckle a little.

The sun was setting, casting an ethereal glow between the red and white striped tents. My best friend, Cami, tugged on my hand, dragging me toward the back of the fair grounds, where the attractions grew darker and younger children were discouraged from visiting.

"Come on, birthday girl! We saved the best for last!" Cami joyfully shrieked, hyper from snow cones and elephant ears. 

We stopped in front of a white and black stripped tent. Gone were the vivid and joyful colors of the circus. I noticed the pleasant rumble of happy chatter from other circus-goers ceased to exist this far back, too.

"What is this, Cami?" I scrunched my nose as I peered up at the large flag overhead, boasting of the contents within the massive tent. "The Best of the Strange and Eerie" it read. A sign next to the entrance noted "18 and older ONLY. No exceptions."

"Come on!" Cami dug some cash out of her pockets and handed it to the bored looking carney with a well-loved top hat and stained wife beater.

"Enjoy the show, ladies," he tipped his hat after Cami handed him our fares. Cami giggled and pulled on my hand once again.

Stepping into the entrance, the world around us immediately grew darker. The silence made me uneasy and I gripped Cami's hand even tighter.

"Do we have to?" I pleaded as we walked cautiously further into the tent. Cami only giggled and I sighed, accepting my fate.

Within the tent was some sort of maze. We linked our arms together and trekked through it, wondering where we would eventually be led to.

"This is weird, Cami," I whispered as we finally came to the entrance of an attraction. There were no signs; no way of knowing what awaited us inside.

Cami took a deep breath and pulled me with her inside. It was a small room, big enough for about five persons and the large tank of gloomy water. Cami and I shared a look of confusion before stepping closer. The murky water made it nearly impossible to see the contents of the tank. 

From inside, a hand suddenly smacked itself against the glass. Cami and I screamed and stepped back as a face appeared next to the hand. It was a young girl, all smiles, with shortly cropped blonde hair. She sneered at us on the other side of the glass and turned her head from side to side, showing off the several slits beneath her ears; gills.

"There's no way those are real," I mumbled under my breath. "When we leave, she'll pop out and take a breath."

The strange fish girl waved to us, smirking, and turned around in the tank. A large scaley fish tale smacked the glass and she was gone, water splashing once over the top of the tank.

Cami and I glanced at each other, eyes widened.

I swallowed hard and tugged on her arm. "Um, let's move on..."

"Yes, please," Cami giggled nervously.

On the other side of the room was the exit. Stepping out of the strange tanked room, we realized we were in for another stretch of a walk until we reached the next room. We stayed quiet, ears open for anything creepy wanting to spring out at us.

A minute or two later, we reached another room. This time, as we stepped in, soft music filled the air. A small platform, with a black velvet curtain for a backdrop, housed an enormous woman with a sprouting goatee and two horns protruding from her forehead. The most shocking thing, however, was the fact that she was naked and chained.

I felt sick. It was inhumane to see her in such a state. She didn't appear to be in any distress, as we neared the makeshift stage. The woman looked at me and baa-ed, as a goat would. It took me by surprise and I yelped. Cami shrieked with laughter, hugging me tight against her.

"Um, hello," I said to the large woman. 

She fought against her chains, reaching out to the two of us. Cami jumped back, the chains rattling heavily across the platform. The woman smiled, baring her teeth. I covered my mouth in disgust. It was as though someone had filed each of her teeth into points. They were so unnatural.

The enormous goat-lady baa-ed even louder and from behind her, the black velvet curtain parted and a man stepped out with a plate of raw ground beef. At least, I assumed it to be ground beef. He cautiously set the plate of meat in front of her and backed away instantly, disappearing again behind the curtain. The goat-lady smashed her face into the meat, as a baby would devour their very first birthday cake, moaning and chewing. She squat herself in front of it, licking and sucking the carnage from her fingers. Blood dripped down her chin and she grinned as Cami and I watched on in horror.

I gulped. "Shall we?" I squeezed Cami's arm.

"Yes, yes, we shall. Now. Go." Cami pushed me toward the room.

Several rooms and abnormalities later, Cami and I were shaking timidly with fear and exhaustion. I didn't know how much more we could take. We witnessed a monstrously muscled woman snap a thick log in half, a tiny two foot tall woman be wrapped with a boa constrictor until her partner played a tune with his violin, thus relaxing the snake, causing it to release her from it's fatal clutch, and a tattooed and pierced man, every inch of skin covered in ink and piercings, even his two penises.

"I don't think it gets any better than that last one," Cami joked as we stepped into the final room.

In the center of the stage stood two gorgeous men with prominent cheekbones. They were dressed handsomely from head to toe in tuxedos.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," I whisper, smiling at the eye candy before us.

"Wow," Cami's jaw dropped. "Wait, how, why are they in here?"

I shrugged and we stepped closer. The spot light grew stronger with every step and my heart beat faster upon the realization that I've seen these men before. These men were not considered freaks, not in the slightest.

"Holy Shezza, Cami! That's... that's..."

"No... It couldn't be... It can't!"

Before us, closely together, stood Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch.

"Hello, darlings," Tom said with a sad smile.

Benedict simply nodded once, acknowledging our presence.

"Is this some kind of joke?" I looked at Cami suspiciously.

"No! I swear!" She furiously shook her head, throwing her hands up before her, claiming innocence.

"No, sadly, it isn't a joke," Benedict sighed.

Both men held their arms out and tried to take a step away from each other. They were completely conjoined at the hips. Their tuxedos appeared to be one big piece, allowing for their bodies to keep together.

"Okay, this is really weird." Cami and I looked around the room for a camera crew to bust us, laughing from the strange and elaborate joke.

Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch were last seen filming their last movie together. The last for both of them. The last. Afterwards, no one had seen or heard from them again, assuming they had retired from the world of movies and acting.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." I shook my head, sure this was nothing more than a weird dream.

"Allow me to explain, then," Tom began. "A few years ago, Benedict and I were filming the final scene for Pineapple Fields Forever when a freak accident on set merged us together for life."

Cami and I blinked in disbelief. "That's it?" I asked.

Tom nodded. "I don't know exactly how it happened."

"We were both knocked out cold and awoke like this," Benedict sighed.

"Afraid that no one would want us, Tomedict Hiddlesbatch, to star in their productions, we escaped to the circus so we could still have some sort of life involving food."

"Do they feed you well here?" I asked.

"No. Please get us out of here!" Tom whimpered.

Cami and I stared at each other for a minute before agreeing to help. With the four of our heads together, we came up with an elaborate plan involving penguins and tar to distract the guards blocking the exits of the fair grounds. 

After twenty minutes of convincing the penguins from the aquatic tent to follow her with a bucket of fish heads, Cami met up with us behind the tent near the least busy exit.

"Did you grab the tar?" Cami asked me. 

"No, I couldn't find any." I shook my head.

Cami's shoulders slumped in disappointment. "This isn't going to work then."

Suddenly, the guard at the exit fell to the ground. "What just happened?!" I turned and looked at Tomedict.

Tom pointed to Benedict. "I threw a rock at his head," Benedict confessed.

***

 

"I don't want to go to jail, so, I'll see you guys later, okay? Please, leave me out of it if you get caught," Cami pleaded to me once we reached my apartment.

"Cami! But what about the penguins? They were all your idea!"

"Not my problem anymore! I'm out!" Cami left, leaving Tomedict and I alone, surrounded by penguins pecking at our legs for more fish.

"This is a disaster," Tom whined.

I opened my freezer door and pulled out a bag of frozen fish sticks. I tore the bag open and sprinkled them toward the front door, finishing with a pile out in the hallway of the apartment.

The penguins paid no attention to the frozen fish sticks, but they did waddle straight out of my apartment and down the hall, squawking every now and then.

"Well. Now that we are finally alone, how can we ever thank you?" Benedict asked.

I blushed at the idea that immediately came to mind, but shook my head.

"I see you blushing, darling. Come on, what is it?" Tom elbowed me gently.

"Well. It's my birthday. So, in celebration of that and your freedom, maybe... a... threesome?"

Tom and Benedict turned their heads to each other, which wasn't very hard to do considering they're kind of always facing each other now due to their 'condition.'

"How would that... work?" Benedict wondered.

"Let's worry about that when we get to it," I huskily whispered, closing the distance between us. I reached up and booped his nose with my finger, then turned to Tom and did the same.

Benedict lowered his head until his lips reached mine. Tom massaged my neck as I kissed Benedict, moaning.

"It's been far too long since we've been with a woman," Tom confessed into my ear, making me moan even more.

I broke away from Benedict's mouth and began to devour Tom's as Benedict began to undress. He stripped all but his slacks due to the fact that they were apart of Tom's as well.

"Let's get all this off," I smiled as I helped Tom out of his clothing.

Working together as a team, Tom and Benedict undid their belt and pulled down their slacks and boxers. It was a strange sight to behold. Their hips had been fused together. Scars from doctors attempting to separate them were apparent.

Tom's eyes began to get misty. "Please, say something."

I brought my eyes from their hips to their eyes, darting back and forth. "You are the most beautiful things I have ever seen before in my life. Don't be embarrassed. Consider this a blessing!" Secretly though, inside, I was cringing and trying not to gag at the sight of their melded flesh.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped up to them again. They wrapped their arms around me, their hands tearing at my clothing which easily came off with four hands helping. Once I was naked, I dropped to my knees and took the both of their pulsating cocks into my hands. I alternated pumps and licks, absorbing their cries of delight.

"Take us to your bedroom," Tom growled.

They followed behind me and I threw myself back onto my bed. They climbed up over me with ease and I giggle to myself thinking of how easily it would be for them to win potato sack races after years of practicing being in sync with the movement of their legs.

Tom sucked in one of my breasts while Benedict took to the other, kneading and licking, his tongue flicking my erect nipple. Tom reached down and spread my wet slit open with his fingers as Benedict slipped two of his fingers inside me, teasing my clit with his thumb.

I arched my back, begging for more as Benedict began to pump his fingers in and out. Tom took my mouth in his, drowning out my cries of pleasure with his kisses.

Working my clit hard, Benedict was able to make me squirt. Fluid gushed out, dribbling down to my ass. 

"Let's do this," I exclaimed. "Lie back on the bed, both of you."

I climbed off and they followed my direction. Once they were centered on the bed, their erections ready to impale me, I climbed back up over them after snatching a bottle of lube from the bedside table. I stood above them and planted one foot near their arms between them and the other near their legs, straddling over their conjoined hips.

"Here's where it could get tricky, but let's see if we can make this work." I squat down over them and they closed in on me, bring their throbbing cocks to my holes. Tom rimmed my ass with the head of his cock while Benedict slowly pressed his into my wet slit. "This is for you, Tom." I handed him the lube and waited for him to slather it over himself and around the rim of my asshole.

"Sit back down now," Tom commanded. I did as he instructed, loving the way Benedict was filling me to the hilt. I felt Tom slowly press himself into my ass and I groaned as I adjusted to his size.

"Holy Shezza," I moaned. I took a breath and relaxed. Both men eased out and then pressed themselves back in.

I gasped at the pleasure striking me through the core. I began to move up and down, doing squats over them to help them out.

"This is the best birthday ever!" I shouted as I couldn't take it anymore. Benedict thumbed my clit again and I cried out as my orgasm rolled through me without mercy. I shook hard and had to climb off of them before I fell and hurt myself, or worse, one of them.

As I stepped off the bed and collapsed to the floor, my orgasm still swirling around inside of me, I heard both of the men gasping and groaning. The unmistakable sound of fapping suddenly was drowned out by moans of pleasure as they both experienced release, ejaculating across themselves.

I knew eventually we would have to discuss finding a doctor who could successfully separate them, but for now, I think I'll keep these freaks to myself and have an encore presentation every night.


End file.
